Sweetened condensed love

Love so long condensed
Into a tiny pea
Under mattresses pent

Though buried deep
The princess could see
That better part of me

She cracked that can
Allowed it to expand
Whipped Into a vast merengue

20161208
http://dVersepoets.com
The prompt is music. I rarely notice the meter as such, when laying down my lines, so in this I tried to pay attention to it. Is this musical? I’ll follow with something more securely on the topic

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13 thoughts on “Sweetened condensed love

  1. I didn’t find the meter strained at all, I think because your subtle rhyming softened the potential for a sing-songy effect. We’ve, for the most part, have developed our poetry skills in the world of free verse. I think, though, of Dickinson, who wrote to a very structured meter that could be so easily overdone but she, like you, varied the rhyme endings and used slanted rhyme.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “whipped into a vast meringue”…..love these words!
    Well, did you know the tale of Princess and the Pea was made into a musical? I actually directed it at a highschool many many years ago. So — yes, musical indeed!

    Like

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