Home, 2001

Oh how that word hurts
It opens a well of sorrow
As deep as my soul

Remains elusive
But no I hold it at bay
And pine away

I think if I surround myself with stuff
Physical entities
That they by their nature will ground reality
Hold it fast in the now
And to busy myself with them
So as to not see this abyss
The emptiness the lovelessness
With which I defend myself
What is this fear that hides me
Paralyses me, drives me
My lady’s love entwines me
Shot thru the weft of my being
I grasp at her threads in desperation
Afraid of my need of her
Afraid of our family yet made

How can I know that I am worthy of love
How can I feel that of myself (do I need to)
For surely her devotion is a sign
For she is no fool nor would she love a fool
I know this of her and yet, yet
Home still slips from my grasp.



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