Mercury and Pluto

What can Mercury teach Pluto?
Mercury, 
proximate,
adores the sun,
never turns away, 
He cannot know darkness
full of devotion, basking in warmth. 
Pluto, 
also selfless,
 Distant, elliptical, uncentered, oblique
  How much
Have you taken in, with your sweep
Unfathomably wide? 
What lies out there, 
Once our loved ones have perished?
beyond devotion?
Beyond faith?

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Like a good stew, some poems should be simmered down, to intensify their flavors. Caught between two prompts, the recipe got away from me, Janets sweet conceit condensed, her instruction boiled away, paring down to 55 words, for the Flash 55 challenge over at an imaginary garden. Which one is more effective, this or the more raw Mercury’s Lesson? Or did I miss the boat, and the flash. 55 is supposed to be quick?

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8 thoughts on “Mercury and Pluto

  1. I don’t think there are any rules for Flash 55 except the 55 words. 🙂 I read this first, then checked the longer, then re-read this. I liked both versions, but did think the earlier could use a little tightening, though not necessarily as much as this. But when I re-read this, I thought, ‘Yes, this is it, this is terrific’. (But is that only because I now have the background of all the other details?)

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    1. Thanks so much Rosemary. I think that the slim version, while perfectly valid on it’s own, really doesn’t have much of my intended point in it. This might not be a bad thing…

      Sent from my iPad

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