move remember love surrender

i did not let my body move
i would not let my mind remember
i could not let my heart love
i have not let my spirit surrender

my awkwardness kept me from sports
my chest grew anyway
so i was teased about my breasts
which i tried to hide away

cornered too many times
by my girlfriends to whom i lied
in order to avoid regret
i quickly learned how to forget

She broke the bond built the wall
severed the cord between us all
what else could i do, what else could i know
so my own heartwall did grow

craving all that i denied myself
strenghth in body mind, and love
my will invented stories
i could not believe, nor prove

i did not let my body move
i would not let my mind remember
i could not let my heart love
i have not let my spirit surrender

now in the middle of my lifes summer heat
shut out into the desert i made myself
dried up date and burning meat

she’s sat outside my walls for years
waiting for me to ope my gate
turn the crank and grease the gears

i tell her i’m trying to release
to open, to love, to grow
to learn who i am and find that peace

accept that I am whole, complete
to claim my inner dragon beast
to love the me i finally meet

afraid she’s about to give up
desert her post, abandon me, walk away
spill the wine, smash the cup

i did not let my body move
i would not let my mind remember
i could not let my heart love
i have not let my spirit surrender

now i shed my scales, drop my armor
my bloody sword clatters on the stones
time to pick up my self, my amor
listen to my deepest tones

time to run up the stairs,
from the bottommost chamber
open the cage, lay heart out bare
time to own my title, Sir

i love my body, and so it moves
i love my mind, and all remember
i love my heart, and so grows love
and to God above i surrender

 

20190426

global poetry writing month asks for repetition,

imaginary garden asked for rebirth

global poetry writing month asks for repetition

5 thoughts on “move remember love surrender

  1. This is the most evocative poem I have read by you, Eric! The struggle, the inner conflict, the confusion .. and the metamorphosis that brings relief is felt deeply by the reader! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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